The Narcissist’s Prayer by Dayna Craig

When I read The Narcissist's Prayer written by Dayna Craig, everything fell into place, and I mean EVERYTHING. This requires little introduction, because the words speak for themselves; the truth, the realization, the accuracy. This poem beautifully illustrates the inner workings of a narcissist. Gas-lighting, denial, blame, and painful shame-shifting.

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

My thoughts on this…

Everything about the narcissist’s thought process and way of operating is extreme and hurtful to most people. But not them, not the narcissist. No matter how hard you try, you will never make sense of the narcissist’s intentions. Good people cannot reason with them, because this isn’t just about good or bad, it’s about character traits and in some cases, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s about power. It’s about control. It’s got nothing to do with their emotions, despite their desire to fuel off yours.

Surviving narcissism is about empowering yourself through research, informed choices, effective communication, and building a solid foundation of knowledge on this challenging disorder. When you learn more in this way, you can understand that the narcissist’s verbal attacks aren’t personal. When you understand, you can take the next steps.

This is the jarring reality: you just so happen to be caught in the crossfire of the ongoing war inside a very disordered mind.

The narcissist’s prayer exists to make you infuriated and confused and to erode your self-worth ultimately. But this prayer and poem, is also a clever irony, because whilst it hurts, it can soothe a victim’s gas-lighted mind. Every word of this prayer is true to them, but not to you. For you, it’s a permission slip to say that everything you’ve been questioning, feeling, scrutinizing is real; not right but real.

Time alone is rarely enough to heal the damage of surviving narcissism; a thorough understanding, surrounded by love and support will always be essential. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder don’t live in the same reality as most people. Not only do they have no grasp on or respect for the truth, they fear the actuality of truth and life, immensely.