How To Decode A narcissist

The hardest thing about loving a narcissist is our desperate attempt that they aren’t one. More often than not we don’t see them coming. Their love bombing can feel intoxicating; it may even feel like “movie love”. But the only problem with this is, (sorry, not sorry), “movie love” doesn’t really exist.

Not like this anyway.

So, once the love bombing has worked, they start to discard us but we are hooked, so we choose to ignore or justify the red flags, even if our life is miserable. You could call it denial disguised as hope. But that is because we think if we work harder, or do better, or do everything they ask, the person we ‘met’ will come back.

Narcissistic behaviours don’t always appear in textbook fashion; they aren’t neat and easy to see. This is why we need to group behaviour into patterns, even if these patterns at first, are hard to read. However, understanding the traits of a narcissistic or high-conflict personality can get easier over time, if you know how and what to look for.

Decoding a narcissist is a powerful step in understanding what you are experiencing. Through verbal and non-verbal interactions, a narcissist will present with a number of impairments in personality. Collectively, these personality traits confidently point to a person who has narcissistic or high-conflict ternandies:

1. Excessive reliance on others for self-definition and self-esteem
2. Lack of empathy
3. Exploitative of others
4. Grandiose and condescending
5. Exaggerated entitlement
6. Attention seeking
7. Admiration seeking

Acknowledging narcissistic traits isn’t always straightforward or easy to spot at first. At times, it can be easier to ignore or downplay some of these behaviours. Really, I get it. Who wants to feel this realisation, but living in misery is not a healthy relationship, and you deserve to be free.

It’s important to say, every narcissist is different, their traits fall on a scale. Learning how to read and decode the one you are dealing with may be something you hoped you’d never have to do, but this is the path to freedom.

If you’re in it, let’s get you out of it. One step at a time.